I've got that part covered:

I was part of a large software development group working on a very difficult schedule to integrate many applications into an exciting new product. The schedule was, of course "challenging" (explanation for the uninitiated: "challenging" means "ridiculous"). We dozen people had weekly status meetings, working sessions that were critical to the potential success of the project. None of us missed any of these meetings. So one fall day as we grouped in, I explained how I would be missing seven work days in a month to the fall Jewish holidays. "That sounds like a good deal," said Brian (not of course his name), "how do I get in on this Jewish thing?"
"There is an initiation," hinted Mike.
"A small matter of the knife," growled Judy.
"Oh I've got that part covered," said Brian.
"Then you've got a problem, "I quipped.
Everyone began laughing hyseterically. Well, Brian did not laugh, and neither did I. But the others seemed really unable to stop. After several minutes the laughter quieted down to a steady ripple of chuckles.
"Let's get this meeting going," said our manager, and she collapsed in another round of laughing hysterics, setting all the others off again.
A few people tried to say something statusy, but only laughter emerged. After a several feeble attempts, our manager got up.
"Same, ah ha, same time next week," she laughed, and she walked out.

I call it the "Mordor" K:

As we all know, there are just TOO many kashruth symbols. I recently saw yet another one, a box containing a large letter K on the left, and the letters "orc" vertically arranged on the right. So this must be the Mordor K. I suppose that an orc would make a pretty good mashgiach. He might not fully understand all the nuances of the law, but all would be in great fear of making any kashruth mistake that he could detect. For example:

"A Kosher Alert: The So and So company has placed an unauthorized Mordor K on its Pork and Beans Sauce product. An army of four thousand orcs is now marching towards its factory."